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10 January 2009 @ 11:27 am
well this was sufficiently depressing  
i have three semesters left before i graduate and one starts on monday. i am feeling super anxious and intimidated about it.

i am taking a james joyce class that meets every monday for two hours and forty-five minutes. yes, i will want to shoot myself after each meeting. the class focuses primarily on ulysses, but also includes other texts by james joyce such as dubliners. i am so frightened of this class because i'm really not a huge fan of the era, and it's just so much reading. in fact, all of my classes are SO MUCH READING, except for my art class, which is SO MUCH FUN. i'm sure that will prove challenging, though, as well. i've never been a particularly good drawer. i like more abstract art.. aka, easier to fake. ha.

my other classes include advanced fiction writing workshop, late 19th century american literature, and contemporary social issues (sociology course). i'm really look forward to the latter two. i have the american lit course with amber and sarah, which is exciting in itself, but i'm also excited about the course because i really like the professor. he gave a guest lecture in my american literature class last semester and his presentation was the best i have ever sat through. and it was about kate chopin! truly, if you can make me enjoy kate chopin, you are amazing.

sadly, i am not at all looking forward to my fiction class. i just don't feel ready to start a new project. i can't even finish the one my mind is still in! writing the first fifty-one pages of my first novel was incredible, but it was also among the hardest things i've ever done academically, and it took so much time and energy and i just don't feel like jumping back into that boat. i haven't written a single word for my novel since the end of the semester, and now i'll be forced to come up with new ideas, and for short stories no less! writing novels is nice because you can be finished when you want to be. you can always say, "oh that's coming in the next chapter." short stories have a limit. heh.

i guess i really just needed to get off my chest how nervous i am about the upcoming semester. and how much i really would like to not have a job. there's SO MUCH READING. who would have thought? right? an english major with a lot of reading to do. i guess now i'm just complaining. i think, truthfully, my nerves are sort of shot. there's drama with my sister because she's being stupid again, and it makes me uneasy, and i'm just projecting that onto a semester that hasn't even started yet. sigh.

i'll write about that later, i guess. i have to get ready for work, and i work from 1:30 to 9:30 tonight. it's going to be a long, miserable day, fuck me. ugh.